ASK THE THERAPIST

The situation in the world today is, at best, unstable; at worst, it’s downright scary. How much news is appropriate to expose my children to?

Today, it is quite hard to shelter our children from negative news. Everywhere you turn, you see what’s going on in the world. It is on the front page of Jewish newspapers and magazines and all over the media. So, I don’t think that you can ignore the news completely. It’s important to create a safe space for children to express their feelings and ask questions about what they see in the news. This helps them build resilience and a better understanding of the world around them.

The amount of news exposure appropriate for a child can vary based on their age and maturity level, so let’s break it down by age group.

For Young Children (Under 7)

• Limit Exposure: Children under the age of seven might not understand the content, which can cause confusion and raise worry and anxiety. This is because children under the age of seven do not have the brain function to mentally manipulate information and can’t see things from another point of view. It’s often best to avoid exposing them to the news altogether.
• Explain Simply: If they do see or hear something, provide simple, reassuring explanations. For example, if they hear about an earthquake and think that it’s going to happen to them, you can say, “It’s very unlikely that that will ever happen here, and remember that Hashem is always watching over us.” You can point out the mezuzah on the doorpost and explain its role and how it protects us.  

For School-Age Children (7-12)

• Monitor Content: Children in this age group can understand more. They are increasingly capable of empathizing with victims and may get anxious about the safety of themselves and their families when encountering distressing stories. Try to read or watch the news together and be ready to explain and discuss what they see.

• Encourage Questions: Allow them to ask questions and express their feelings. You can also ask them what they think about what they just read or watched. Talking about it helps them process the information better.
• Use age-appropriate language. Avoid graphic details and focus on the basics. For example: “There was a bomb that went off that caused damage. Some people got hurt, but many helpers are there to make sure everyone is safe and cared for.”  Reassure their safety by reminding them that Hashem is always watching over us. Explain how the mezuzah acts as a shemira over us. You can also encourage them to say  Tehillim, speak to Hashem about what they are nervous about, and ask Him to safeguard us.

For Teenagers (13 and Older)

• • Discuss Openly: Teenagers can handle more complex information and may seek out news independently. Encourage open discussions about what they see and read.

• Provide Context: Help them understand the broader context and differentiate between reliable and unreliable sources. Verify the information by cross-checking other places. Reliable news can generally be verified by checking multiple reputable outlets. Look for links to primary sources or original documents within the article. The information should be presented in a balanced manner, covering multiple perspectives without sensationalism. Read news from various sources to get a well-rounded view of the issue.

General Tips for All Ages: 

Avoid continuous exposure to news. Short news updates are better than prolonged viewing or reading. Limit their viewing or reading of the news.  Be mindful of replays; repeated footage of traumatic events can be particularly distressing for children.

Normalize if they feel sad, anxious or scared. Show them that it’s okay to have these feelings and to discuss these feelings with you. “Mommy is also really nervous about what we just heard. It’s ok to be nervous. Let’s say a perek of  Tehillim together, or we can read a story on Emunah to help us calm down.”

Highlight the positive actions of people helping in the situation. This can provide a sense of hope and security. For example: “Many people are helping those in need, like Hatzalah, the police/army, doctors, and volunteers. They are doing everything they can to help.” Find and discuss stories of how Yidden are helping other Yidden and how amazing people are.

The world can indeed be a scary place. Part of what we can do to help our children is teach them how to cope, which can help them build confidence and healthy coping skills that can serve them in the future. It can also help them feel safe and process their emotions.