CHOOSE TO SHINE

I am writing this on the plane ride home from a family reunion held in Houston, TX. People of all ages, affiliations, and abilities gathered for a weekend of sharing memories, laughter, and camaraderie. We had CEOs, doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, professionals, and homemakers, with everything in-between‎. There were no divisions by political leaning or religious practice. Kosher food was available for those who wanted it, and prayers were sometimes assisted for those who are not accustomed to thrice daily services. We even rented a sefer Torah from a local Shul to allow complete Shabbos services. Picture albums were pooled and spread across tables for open inspection, letters and post cards from a bygone era were laid out for all to see, and a huge family tree was rolled out across one wall. It had to be at least ten feet in width, with lines and arrows showing who married whom, which kids belonged to which parents, and all sorts of various relations were mapped out in careful detail.

At the top of the tree was a single couple, Sam and Bertha. Their children were all listed below, and their descendants were labeled by relationship. Every name was either a direct descendant or married to a direct descendant ‎of the original couple. Ages ranged from 10 weeks (great-great-great grandson) to 86-years-old (grandson). There were at least 50 people in attendance, with many more than that who could not be there with the rest of us.

It occurred to me how remarkable it is that a single couple could be the progenitors of so many wonderful people. This family is very involved in their respective communities. They are leaders and enablers who work hard for the community. Although I have no memories of my father’s grandparents‎, the stories are told of quiet strength, dignity and kindness. I have to wonder about the people who preceded me and laid the foundations for such a remarkable dynasty. Most of the original children had made their fortunes by banding together and going into business. By working together, the siblings built a very successful enterprise.

Regardless of their material success, the entire clan was known for their humor, their kindness, and their sincerity. I do remember spending some time with most of them during my own childhood. The entire family lived in Memphis, TN, where I was raised. We played at their homes with their own children and grandchildren. We remain in touch to this day, hence the greatly anticipated family reunions. Although our respective lives have brought us to new hometowns, we will always remain family.

What strikes me as most notable about this portrait is the two names at the top of the tree, and how many were directly affected by the way they lived.  We may think that our actions have no permanence or effect on others. We may delude ourselves and rationalize that it will not matter if we fail to live up to our potential. It can be alluring to entertain thoughts of indulging our desires rather than doing what we know is right. Yet, when I look at this diverse group of wonderful people who are my blood relatives, I see Jewish majesty and grandeur. If only my great grandparents, Sam and Bertha, could see us now, I know they would quiver with pride at the how the examples they set rippled into a tidal wave of goodness and inspiration so many years later.

We do not live in a vacuum. Our daily choices about how we live become our legacy forever. I am deeply touched to be part of this story, a member of this amazing and gifted nation known as the Jewish people. We were chosen to be a light to the nations – to live each day by the tenets of our faith – to do our individual parts to repair the world – to make Hashem proud, and to set an example for ourselves, and for the entire world. Our choices matter. It is both an awesome task, and a tremendous responsibility. The world is counting on us.

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I encourage you to share your own stories at pinchosshine@gmail.com