WHEN THE KITCHEN TABLE BECOMES THE CLASSROOM

The school day begins as Ariella, Shira, and Hadassah take their seats and open their books. They are ready to learn, but not before their teacher warms up a baby bottle on the stovetop. Their teacher is Mrs. Ribiat, aka mom. 

For some, the idea of playing teacher to their rambunctious children for hours a day, everyday, seems like a nightmare. But if the recent quarantine has shown us anything, it is that many were pleasantly surprised at how well we were able to master and teach our children everything  from quadratic equations, to history of the French Revolution, to Onkelos. And it seems we are not alone. According to the National Home Education Research Institute, there are about 2.5 million homeschool students in grades K-12 in the United States, with an estimated 2% to 8% increase per annum over the past few years. The COVID-19 crisis further increased interest in the home-based learning system.  

So, what does it take to homeschool? I sat down with three families that have ventured down this path of domestic didactics to see what it entails. 

We Homeschool, but We Are NEVER Home!

Dina Nadler-Serber and her husband Avi live in Crown Heights. Homeschooling wasn’t always in the plans for their three children ages 13, nine, and six. Their oldest son was originally enrolled in a local school for kindergarten and then pre-K. Dina relates that from the start there were problems, as his December birthday made him the youngest student in the class. The Serbers tried a charter school but felt that there was too much focus on testing. They found a private school they liked, which their son attended until second grade, but when the tuition became too high and administrators weren’t willing to offer financial aid, they started their journey of homeschooling. Initially, the couple was going to give it a one-year trial, but it ended up working out so nicely that eight years later they are still homeschooling. 

“Ironically, for homeschoolers, we are never home,” jokes Dina, who says that New York is a great place to homeschool since there are so many educational places you can take your kids and so many learning groups you can join. Academia happens outside the classroom for the Serber children who frequent museums, libraries, and parks. And just as studies aren’t conducted in a classroom setting, lesson plans are rarely on paper. Dina, like many other homeschoolers, is a big believer in life lessons. “It is important for me to apply what’s going on outside to what’s goes on in our home,” she explains.  For example, when Mayor de Blasio came out with his annual budget report, the family analyzed how much money was being devoted to various areas of running a city and compared that with what it takes to budget a household. In this lesson Dina was also able to incorporate lessons on ratio and percentages. 

Dina doesn’t dole out quizzes and tests because homeschooling allows her to gauge each child’s progress without them.  “Teachers have to manage 30 students and their overall progress; I only have to concentrate on three, so I know if they are ‘getting’ the material and if I can go faster or slower,” she explains.

Dina believes that homeschooled children are self-learners and independent thinkers.  If they are interested in a subject, they can explore it further on their own, something that rarely happens in a traditional school setting.

“When you homeschool, you can really find out your child’s interests and nurture them,” says Dina. When her nine-year-old was into fashion, Dina bought a sewing machine and supplemented with lessons from a FIT student.  Her older son loves history, so he was partnered with Hunter College Professor Wendy Raverto to designs a curriculum for homeschooled kids that takes place at various museums. Recently, the professor ran a one-day class on the historical inspiration for Star Wars, and the use of anthropology and sociology in creating the Star Wars universe. 

Self-Led Learners

Batsheva and Chaim Ribiat live in Toronto, Canada with their four children: Ariella, age nine; Shira, eight; Hadassah, five; and Avraham, who is three. Batsheva, originally from Flatbush, is into cooking and photography, while her husband hones his talents as a juggler and unicyclist – when he’s not busy working at the COR, Toronto’s biggest kashrus organization. The couple has always homeschooled their three daughters. Little Avraham has special needs, so they enrolled him in a special needs school for the 2019-20 school year, but in light of the pandemic they have decided to homeschool him for the foreseeable future.

Batsheva refers to herself as an “accidental homeschooler.”  While she always liked the concept of homeschooling, she didn’t give it serious thought until she was put on a waiting list for nursing school. “Ariella was an infant at the time and I thought if I’m going to be home, I want to give my children 100%, which for me involved reading up on child behavior and psychology, researching common educational models, and speaking to other parents,” she explains. Unlike many others, Batsheva’s decision to homeschool was not motivated by negative school experiences. 

A typical day at the Ribiat household looks like this: davening in the morning followed by reading, writing, songs, and math. If the weather is nice, they go on trips to the park and or museums. The kids learn about the Yamim Tovim and general hashkafah regularly, and the girls often create art that reflects those themes. 

When it comes to secular studies like science and history, the Ribiat girls are more self-led. Instead of sitting at a table and reading material that was assigned, they enjoy reading National Geographic, historical fiction books, and finding information online about subjects that pique their interest. Ariella has been learning basic computer programming with her father, and the Ribiat girls have recently started taking art lessons from their aunt.

“I would say our learning style right now is more holistic than academic, but that they are where they need to be academically,” confirms Batsheva. 

Part of learning means that the Ribiat kids are also responsible for household duties such as taking care of their cat, tending to their vegetable garden, and preparing the house for Shabbos.  Batsheva is proud to report that the girls have cooked Shabbos completely on their own a few times already. 

School Supply List: Metro Card, Library Card, and Internet 

Channa Leah Siegel and her husband Natan live in Far Rockaway. They have homeschooled their daughters ever since their eldest, who has special needs, had difficulty finding a school that fit her academic and social needs.

 “I was initially forced into homeschooling,” says Channa Leah, “but then I found it to be a beautiful thing, and even if my kids weren’t special needs, I would still continue.”  

The beauty Channa Leah refers to is the love of learning that so many homeschooled kids seem to posses. She maintains that you don’t need to spend a lot of money to educate your children, especially in New York, where so much can be achieved with just a Metro Card, a library membership, and a computer with internet. A typical day at the Siegel school consists of morning davening and then deciding what material will be covered that day. They choose when to start and when they need a break. They often take walks, hikes, or meet up with other homeschool friends. Often, they will bring their textbooks with them on trips to the park. When Natan arrives home, his professional accounting skills are put to use as he tackles the harder mathematical subjects with the kids. 

Family trips are among their best teaching tools. In the past, the Siegels visited the Edison House when learning about Thomas Edison and electricity, and when they were learning about the Wright brothers, the family took a spontaneous trip to Washington, D.C.

Channa Leah believes it is more important to live Judaic studies than to learn them. Instead of teaching them about Pesach, the couple decided to use the Seder as an opportunity to learn and ask questions. “Doesn’t the Haggadah dictate that the children should be asking questions?” Channa Leah points out. While she admits that her girls’ limudei kodesh could be stronger in terms of translating and understanding meforshim, she proudly reports that few nine year olds could tell you how to kasher a milchig spoon that fell into a fleishig sink with as much detail as her daughter.  “Chessed and knowing and applying halachah are more important than knowing the difference between the Ramban and Rambam,” says Channa Leah. 

The idea of living what you learn is tied into all the Siegel’s lessons. When the girls learned about health and the human body, the entire family got into it.  “Schools segregate children by age,” explains Channa Leah. “By us it’s more fluid with all of us gaining the knowledge.” 

No quizzes, homework, or tests are administered in the Siegel house. Instead, the kids work on a subject until they master it. They are being trained to love learning, and every outing is an opportunity to learn. “There are no vacations here; school is always on,” says Channa Leah, who had to schedule our interview between sessions.

The Positives and Negatives

Socialization is often the first concern directed at parents who homeschool. 

For the Serbers, this is a nonissue. Their 13-year-old son takes the train and meets up with other homeschooled kids to take classes together.  Their other children meet with other children at teaching centers, homeschool fairs, and other group activities.  

Batsheva believes that some people are misguided in their definition of “socialization.” She recounts how they were stopped in the street by a woman who struck up a lovely conversation with her and her girls. She seemed shocked that they were homeschooled and inquired about their social skills.  “This woman had been socializing with my children for over 15 minutes and could not make the connection between what they were actively demonstrating in practice and her shallow, textbook, antiquated understanding of socialization,” Batsheva recounts. In lieu of a lengthy philosophical response, she simply gestured towards the children and said, “What do you think?” 

The Ribiats believe that homeschooling provides them a firsthand look into the lives of their children as they observe their personalities and interactions in ways that other parents and educators cannot. Batsheva says that it also provides her with a strong sense of purpose and the feeling. “I’m contributing to something greater than myself,” she explains. 

It doesn’t hurt that homeschoolers need not worry about PTA meetings, managing carpools, after-school functions, complicated assignments, bullying, and of course, a hefty tuition bill.  

Of course, there are some drawbacks to this system. Dina admits that a lot of time go into preparation, especially the first year. Classes can be expensive.  The Serbers spend on average about $6,000 a year to educate all three kids. 

Homeschooling in a community where there are few fellow homeschoolers can be extremely isolating, both for parents and children, admits Batsheva.  Another challenge is dealing with people’s comments. Homeschooling or not, no matter what one attempts to do in life, there will always be naysayers who will project their negative outlook onto people. 

Channa Leah says that burnout is a legitimate issue as well as second guessing yourself. When that happens, she says it’s important to have an older and more seasoned homeschooling parent you can talk to for guidance and mentorship. She also warns that at times it can seem like a thankless job and that the kids eat 30 times a day. 

When We All Became Homeschoolers

Being quarantined at home and juggling household duties while filling the role of teacher for the kids was an experience unlike any other, and some found it surprisingly achievable and rewarding. Channa Leah has fielded almost 100 inquiries since the COVID-19 outbreak, from parents who are now interested in homeschooling.  

“They get it now,” says Batsheva, who says that people have developed a new level of respect for her. 

Channa Leah says that teaching has been more difficult since the pandemic began, since they can no longer take field trips to explore what they are learning in person. It also didn’t help that she contracted the virus and was bedridden for two months. She attributes the kids’ ability to stay on course to their self-motivated and self-learning tendencies. 

For some, COVID-19 was evidence that they could never homeschool.  Overwhelmed with Zoom meetings and assignments, some parents practically begged the city to reopen schools. But homeschoolers say this experience is not an accurate litmus test for genuine homeschooling because parents were following someone else’s lesson plans. Dina maintains that it was confusing for the kids to see their parents filling in the teacher’s role, something homeschooled children never challenge. 

Batsheva asserts that anyone can homeschool  believing that one need not posses a degree in teaching or child psychology, or even have any special skill set, to be able to educate their own children. 

 “Hashem gave every parent – by nature imperfect people – the tools required to raise their children and free will to determine how to raise them. The only person or thing stopping you from doing something is you,” she says. “I actually envy the incoming crop of homeschoolers. For the first time, homeschooling has become mainstream and has so much more support than when I first started. The tides have turned. How can you look at such a reality and not think ‘Wow! Yad Hashem has never been more obvious!’”

Sidebars:

Homeschooling on the Rise 

It is interesting to note that homeschooling is most popular in red states like Alaska, Arkansas, New Hampshire, and Montana. New York, despite being a blue state, is home to many right-wingers who disagree with the DOE’s policies and choose homeschooling because they want the freedom to tailor their children’s education and learning environment. The Harris poll, a market research and global consulting firm based in New York, found that 79% of Big Apple residents believe learning from home is a good option because of the pandemic’s impact on education — a significantly higher figure than the 66% national average.  The poll also found that 42% of Empire State residents felt that COVID-19 risks were still too steep to reopen schools and backed an all-remote learning format until a vaccine emerges. The dominant reason why people in New York choose homeschooling is dissatisfaction with the schools. There are many reasons for this dissatisfaction such as safety issues, overcrowding, standardized curriculum, focus on testing, lack of arts and sports, and their children’s overall unhappiness. 

Homeschooling Basics in NYC  

 Want to homeschool? Start by finding someone who is currently doing it  – via local families, support groups, or library forums. Ask all your questions. Find out which curriculum style best fits you and your child. There are many online resources available that can supply you with lesson plans, worksheets, printables, and ideas for this. Learn more about the laws and regulations as they vary by state. Here is a list of specifics you will need to take care of if you live in New York City. 

Submit a notice of intent 

Once you have established that you will not enroll your child in a traditional school, you must submit a notice of intent to homeschool to the New York City Department of Education’s Office of Home Schooling at 333 Seventh Avenue, 7th Floor, New York, NY 10001. You may submit the letter of intent via email to Letterofintent@schools.nyc.gov before the start of the school year, or you can submit it in person at the Office of Home Schooling. You can obtain a sample letter from HSLDA at  https://hslda.org/post/new-york-notice-of-intent.

Submit your Individualized Home Instruction Plan (IHIP)

The DOE wants to ensure that each child will get proper education, so parents are expected to submit a form detailing exactly what the child will be expected to learn. A new IHIP must be submitted each school year by August 15 or within four weeks of the receipt of the IHIP form from the school district (whichever is later).The document must include the child’s name, age, and grade level; a list of your syllabi, curriculum materials, textbooks, or plan of instruction; dates for submission of quarterly reports; and the name of whoever is giving the instruction. 

Log everything 

Parents must keep records so the DOE sees that your child is meeting the mandatory 180 days of schooling. Parents should keep track of hours of learning so their child fulfills the necessary 900 hours of school year for grades 1-6 and 990 hours for grades 7-12. Attendance records are only required to be submitted to the school district upon request of the superintendent.  These reports will be submitted quarterly to the district superintendent. In addition to the hours, parents must also include a description of the material covered in each subject, and a grade or narrative evaluation in each subject.

Administer an annual assessment 

For children in grades 1–3, parents can administer a standardized test (ex: Iowa Test of Basic Skills, or another test approved by the State Education Department) to evaluate their academic achievements each year. To demonstrate satisfactory progress, the composite score must be above the 33rd percentile There is also an option to submit a written narrative evaluation. Written narrative evaluations may be conducted by a certified teacher, a home instruction peer group review panel, or other person with the consent of the local superintendent. In grades 4–8, standardized testing is required at least every other year, with the written narrative evaluation available as an option in the years you do not use a standardized testing option. Standardized testing is required every year in high school.

Resources: 

NYC DOE Office of Home Schooling– General information on homeschooling in New York including enrollment questions, necessary document templates,  and list of mandated deadlines. https://www.schools.nyc.gov/enrollment/enrollment-help/home-schooling

NYCHEA (New York City Home Educator Alliance)- A secular organization that assists families with support and information on home education. They also arrange social occasions and group educational experiences for member families. For example, every year, they hold 10 yearly meetings in the form of  science fair, geography fair, history fair, performance fair, picnic,  field days, and more. There is a $42 fee per family per year to join. www.nychea.org

HOMESCHOOLNYC! Variety of resources available from articles and reviews, to frequently asked questions to recommended books. http://homeschoolnyc.com

Cathy Duffy Reviews– Since 1984, curriculum specialist Cathy Duffy has been assessing teaching methodology and online resources for all subjects and all grades so parents can pick the best curriculum for their child. www.cathyduffyreviews.com

Different Directions–  Is a 501c3 nonprofit community and resource center for parents, families, educators, artists, and professionals who organize classes together with the goal of providing social, academic, and extracurricular enrichment to homeschooling families. www.differentdirections.org

Home School Legal Defense Association – Providing legal help to parents as well as resources and educational consultants. www.hslda.org

Outschool- Offers online classes for children ages 3-18. www.outschool.com.

Jewish Homeschooling  Resources– This Facebook  group shares and reviews  limudei kodesh (and secular studies)  resources available to homeschoolers.   

Aleph Beta-Offers an education library of Torah videos that teach anything from Jewish holidays to parasha to Chumash lessons. https://www.alephbeta.org

NIGRI International Jewish Online School– The largest virtual Jewish school offering an online Hebrew school, online Jewish day school, and online bar mitzvah lessons. http://www.nigrijewishonlineschool.com

Torah Home Education-Run by seasoned homeschooler Yale Aldrich, she organizes annual conferences covering topics such as: how to decide if homeschooling is right for your family, teaching limudei kodesh  and secular studies for all ages, how to homeschool with multiple ages in the home, father’s panel, talk to homeschooled teens and young adults, working while homeschooling,  and online education vs. parent centered education. https://torahhomeeducation.com

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