BREAK THE GLASS, NOT THE BANK

The Chasdei Lev Wedding Experience

Why do weddings have to be so stressful?

They say there is a science, a formula so to speak, to pulling off the perfect wedding. Couples should spend no more than 50% on the venue, (which includes catering and cake), 12% for the photographer, 10% on flowers, 9% on attire, hair and makeup, and no more than 7% on music.

But try telling Devorah Gottleib of Williamsburg that she can only spend 9% of the wedding budget on appearance-related items when she has to glam up her five daughters for photos. Or how about the Ardebilichi’s and Klein’s who are making a wedding next year and will require a specific caterer and music band that can accommodate both Persian and Ashkenazi tastes. Anyone who has made an Orthodox Jewish wedding can attest to the fact that oftentimes, adhering to these numbers, especially in NY, is not practical or even realistically possible.

According to a 2017 report released by The Knot, a leading digital brand that is all about weddings, a non-kosher New York wedding costs on average $33,391. Jewish weddings, especially Orthodox, contain many additional expenses such as kosher food, more guests, custom-made modest attire, and many other religious requirements that can double the cost of the affair making it roughly $60-70,000.

Many Jewish families simply cannot afford to spend so much money marrying off their children, especially when there are other expenses to account for (yeshivah tuition, high rent/mortgage, other upcoming simchos). To please their children and to keep up with communl standards, many do manage fork up the necessary funds, but this is not an endless cycle of  loans and debt, which puts a damper on the happy occasion.

Say Yes to the Dress  – and to the Takanos

After seeing the ever-increasing costs of Orthodox weddings some communities found ways to curb overspending.  Belz Chassidim implemented a “Chasunah Plan,” which outlines a list of restrictions regarding wedding preparations. For instance, the parents of the chosson are instructed to choose between a bracelet and a mixer as a kallah gift, only cubic zirconium is to be used for a ring, and there are limitations on the price of flowers.  The Satmar community has done away with the kallah’s diamond bracelet, fancy shtreimels, and there are guidelines in place for how much each side is allowed to spend on particular items. In 2008, the Skver Chassidim of New Square, New York made their own takanos including hosting the vort at the  kallah’s home within three days of the l’chaim, no birthday gifts exchanged between the chosson and kallah, and two sheva brachos held in a private home with only a minyan of men invited.

Although these takanos have helped the communities in which they were instituted, many others continue to struggle with pulling off an affordable chasunah.

“My husband and I had to refinance our home and take out a loan,” says Mrs. R., a Marine Park resident who wishes to remain anonymous. Her machatunim  insisted on some costly items, including a five-piece band, which led them to spend an excess of  $60,000 for their eldest son’s wedding two years ago. Mrs. R. has four other children who are near marriageable age and is worries about how she will manage to do this again.   

Adina,  a nurse living in Midwood,  got married two years ago in a Flatbush hall and said her entire wedding from start to finish cost her parents a little over $60,000. “We paid 6,000 for the music, 4,000 for flowers and about $120-180 a couple for the venue/catering” she says, acknowledging that they saw packages ranging from $65 to $375 a person. Because the average in Brooklyn seems to be somewhere between $120-$200 per person, Adina says that some of her friends are getting married in Lakewood, where there are elegant halls that give you a lot more bang for your buck.

But it doesn’t have to be like this.

Chasdei Lev to the Rescue

Enter Chasdei Lev’s Wedding Experience.  Chasdei Lev is known for helping rebbeim and large families with the high cost of living by providing food and household necessities.  Since January 2018 they have come to the rescue for weddings as well and not just for rebbeim, but for all families.

“The focus should be on the marriage, not on the wedding,” says a program representative.

One way Chasdei Lev takes the stress out of wedding planning is by doing all the leg work for families by offering top-of-the-line and reasonably priced vendors all set up already so the baal simchah do not have to busy themselves shopping around for the best deal. When someone calls Chasdei Lev, they are immediately set up with a meeting with the hall manager so they can tour the hall and discuss package options. People will be surprised to find that there are very few contingencies in place. Weddings can be arranged practically on any day and at any time, and unlike other programs, the menu is not priced fixed, so  families have a lot of options in food choices. Chasdei Lev is modeled after the takanah weddings of other communities, but they are quick to point out that they are not the same. “This is not a charity case,” they explain.  “We provide elegant weddings with the most delicious menu, beautiful décor with high centerpieces, and all with dignity and class.”  Chasdei Lev offers baalei simchah a full buffet dinner, separate rooms for chuppah and reception, free valet parking, a delicious menu, and all for a one low price in a modern newly renovated hall located central to Flatbush.  Their venue is versatile and can accommodate and customize the seating arrangements for men and women based on the family’s needs and wants. Also included in the package is the videographer, photographer, centerpieces, kallah’s bouquet, music, kallah’s backdrop, and decorated chuppah with lighting for the low price of $16,500! They are able to accomplish all this due to their relationship with the vendors. Everyone works together to assure a high-quality affair that is on budget.

Oftentimes, there is more stress than simchah and Chasdei Lev is here to change that.

Till Debt Do Us Part

This is what Mrs. R. paid before even stepping foot into the hall, which cost $25,000

Engagement ring 3000
Vort bracelet 1500
Pearls (yyichud room) 500  
Sefarim (machzorim, siddur, Tehillim) 650
Earrings (wedding gift) 1000
Shadchan fee  2000
Appearance: gowns, hair, makeup, suit, shoes, hats  4300
Leichter 2000
Aufruf 6000
Vort flowers 200
Shabbos kallah flowers 100
FLOPS (flowers, liquor, orchestra, photography)  7000
Chosson wardrobe 1500