I loved the interview “Shidduch Talk” with Lisa Elefant and Ruchie Giberstein in last month’s issue! It was very insightful to gain a shadchan’s persecutive on the behind the scenes undertaking of redting a shidduch. I am not up to that stage in my life yet as my children are still young, but I have a new found respect for all that matchmakers do. I think showing a glimpse of their world helps people understand why they may not get a return phone call right away, or why their texts are seemingly going unanswered. Besides putting a price tag on a match, how can you price taking time away from the family on evenings, weekends, and holidays? This is not a job that gets benefits, raises, sick days etc.. Kol Hakovod to all the shadchanim out there. Keep up the great work!
As a single myself, I took umbrage with Lisa Elefant’s comment in “Shidduch Talk” that she couldn’t stop crying on Yom Kippur upon seeing so many singles in shul. Excuse me?! Did you ever happen to think that some of these girls are single by choice? Maybe they are waiting to finish an advanced degree, maybe they are dating someone, but are taking it slow, maybe they just broke something off and need tome to heal and process. Single girls are not nebachs that need your pity and tears. Many of us led rich, productive lives that we find very rewarding. Of course, we would love to be married one day, but that doesn’t mean we should elicit your tears today. Maybe if the community’s mindset on older singles changed a bit, we wouldn’t be in this so called “crises.”
I would love to ask the shadchanim in last month’s feature why the “Nix the Pix” project only lasted 60 days. Why not extend it and make it a standard policy?
A Midwood Single
I love the idea of “Wedding Redting” that was mentioned in “Shidduch Talk”! What a brilliant idea! The singles are all out and about already and dressed in their finest, why not have them meet up with the matchmakers then? There is so much down time between the chuppah and dancing, why not create more simchos in the process?
I don’t mean to sound cold, but we have created this single’s crises ourselves. I am from an older generation where we didn’t have these challenges. You know where I met my husband? At the Brooklyn College cafeteria where all the Jewish students would hang out in between classes. This is also where two of my friends met their husbands as well. My sisters found their husbands at shul events where kosher mingling wasn’t frowned upon. Other women from my generation (the 70s) met their spouses by normal, healthy socialization whether it was from mixed seating at weddings or hanging out on the block schmoozing with each other. We are doing a tremendous disservice with separating the genders to the degree that we have.
Thank you for printing last month’s Ask the Therapist column. It was an issue our family was facing as well, so the timing was perfect for us. The advice was very helpful. What ever happened to just staying local or even going to Florida for winter break? My kids are complaining that everyone is going to Israel for winter break. Is that the new thing now? Help!
I have been looking for a creamy baked ziti recipe for the longest time, so I was very intrigued for read Leah Isaac’s recipe in last month’s “Chanukah Crowd-Pleasers.” My baked ziti always seems to dry out and never be cheesy enough, despite putting in two cups of shredded mozzarella and Muenster cheese. I am just curious to know why she doesn’t use a filler cheese like ricotta or farmer cheese.