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  1. Mumbling is the glue that holds marriage together.


  1. A woman saying, “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying, “You won’t feel a thing.”


  1. Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you to do.


  1. My wife said I never listen to her, or something like that.


  1. Of course Dalai Lama quotes are uplifting and optimistic. He’s never been married.


  1. 90% of marriage is just calling out “What?” from another room.
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